Whether on your way to a house party or out to the bars, Uber is the best way to arrive safely all over town. But being an Uber driver can be infuriating, and isn’t as “fun” as some may think (depending on the customer.) It’s simple, just follow these 10 basic rules and your Uber driver wont hate you!
Don’t Throw Up
Considering that Uber drivers constantly have to ship drunk people back and forth, do them a favor and don’t throw up in their car. It’s better to let them know and pull over instead of keeping it a secret and yacking all over their place of business.
Don’t Ask to Change the Music
It doesn’t matter if you absolutely loath country music. If your driver has a specific station, just grin and suck it up. Don’t be one of those douche bags that HAS to have his way all the time. It’s only a five minute drive, anyways.
Don’t Drunkenly Confess Your Sins
It might be a thing to drunkenly spout off all your life problems to a stranger, but your Uber driver is not your shrink. He’s just trying to get through the night without getting murdered. Wait until you get home and then you can do all the drunk dialing your little heart desires.
Don’t Neglect Small Talk
If your driver is actually making an attempt to talk with you about your destination or how your night is going, you should really talk back to them. It’s usually only a 10 minute ride to your destination, so it shouldn’t kill you to talk to your driver. Who wants an awkward silence anyway?
Don’t Argue about the Fare
The fare for an Uber driver is based on distance, the surge, and time spent in total. So don’t throw a bitch fit because the bill is way more expensive than you anticipated. Plus, it makes you look like a pussy in front of your friends. Again, don’t be that guy.
Don’t Fuck in the Backseat
Seriously. You might be able to pull this one off in the back of a taxi or a limo, but then again, you can just hose down the back of a taxi. The cars Uber drivers use are obviously their own, so keep your bodily fluids and primal urges to yourself. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s kinky.
Don’t Offer Them Drugs
Although your mom told you to always share, it might be best to keep the joint in your pocket. Uber drivers are (usually) sober and need to stay that way. Yes, you’re just being friendly, but unless Snoop Dogg is your driver, don’t share drugs.
Don’t Be a Backseat Driver
It’s assumed when you request a driver that he will, in fact, know how to drive. You don’t have to complain about going too slow or not taking a certain short cut. Only speak up about the driver if they’re doing something stupid or dangerous.
Don’t Leave Things Behind
This might seem like a simple request, but it goes for things you want and don’t want. Your Uber driver won’t want to come back to your house because you left a phone behind. He also doesn’t want to clean up your garbage, so remember to leave with what you came with.
Don’t Try to Fit 10 People in the Backseat
We get it. You want to go as a group to the bar and you don’t want to get separated. But arriving to the scene in a makeshift clown car won’t look too good. Not to mention, you don’t want any of your friends flying through the windshield because you’re all out of seatbelts.
Being an Uber driver is a tough job, so try to make their lives a little easier by being courteous.