Gentlemen, buckle up, because we’re about to rock your world. Once a year, for one particular occasion, stores are scoured and stripped of all their tasty, and sexy goodies, restaurant reservations skyrocket, and vacation package purchases blow up the internet. What occasion are we talking about? Valentine’s Day, of course. A “holiday” created (in our opinion) by greeting card companies, greedy retail conglomerates, and somewhere, three vindictive crones hunched over a cauldron, pouring in equal doses of agony, ecstasy, and a healthy helping of guilt for men who don’t do it right.

It’s just a fact: V-Day can be really rough on dudes. So, give the ladies their own special day, but, then, it’s only fair to give us guys one too, right? That’s what we’re all about in this country, equality. Therefore, go ahead and mark February 14th on your calendar, but then, in large, bold, red Sharpie, circle March 14th, which happens to be…wait for it…Steak and Blowjob Day. You heard us. After the grillin’, prepare for some thrillin’, because just like hoverboards and self-driving cars, Steak and BJ Day is a real thing!

Think it’s a joke? Maybe. Think it’ll take off? Plausibly. The truth is, no one knows who came up with this brilliant idea, nor what country, or even century, we have to thank for this magnanimous, male-focused day, but what is certain is that thanks to the official website, Steak and BJ Day is not only gaining awareness, but also doing so for a good cause. Direct your girl to the aforementioned website, and show her how supporting and donating to this day will put money into the coffers of a non-profit organization that focuses on battling cancer.

You go all out on Valentine’s Day. Is asking her to grill up a tasty piece of meat, then dropping to her knees, and giving your favorite meat some lovin’ really so much to ask? She gets bracelets and chocolate truffles, you get this. Totally fair, right? Remember, if she’s hesitant, just remind her you’re fighting breast cancer! Now, you just need to decide if you’re craving rib eye or t-bone, and to you both, we say, Bon appétit!

Knockout Mag

Knockout Mag