Traditional dating calls for a man to make the first move, plan the first date, and pick up the tab. However, in a more modern society the rules seem to have taken a turn toward equality. More and more first daters seem to opt for splitting the bill, or “Going Dutch,” rather than putting all the pressure on the men.
Back in the day, women rarely had their own income (if so, not much of one) and the point of dating was to find out if the lady was a candidate to become “wifey material.” In these situations, it made sense for the man to pay for dinner every time. These days, women have their own careers and life plans, and the dreams of being a stay at home mom are much lower on the list than in the past. Not to say that being a stay at home mom isn’t still a great option, but women have learned there are still other avenues in life they can choose. This means there are women that don’t necessarily need to be with you (believe it or not,) and therefore they choose to start a partnership with you, and partners are equals, which includes paying their half.
First dates tend to be in a much more casual setting, and it usually starts with a text with you asking her to grab dinner and drinks. And don’t forget, it’s not always the man who has to text first. Often times the ladies will take the initiative. If you’re casually meeting up to get to know each other then it’s mutually understood that the goal is to enjoy each other’s company rather than the girl to be in it for a free dinner. Just think, you have it so much easier than the poor dudes who had to go through the entire courting process and pay for a fancy dinner to hopefully earn a peck on the cheek at the end of the night, like a sad little participation trophy that says “Thanks for playing.”
Of course, there are still parts of a guy’s brain that are wired to be the provider, and it’s natural to want to pick up the tab. It’s totally ok to still think that way, but if she’s hot, good at laser tag, and she insists on splitting the bill at the end of the night, she’s probably a keeper, seriously!
As the relationship progresses, you can pick up the check here and there for your lady. In fact, it’s kind of nice to show her that you care and have that “provider” way about you. But on a first date, it only makes sense to go halfsies before taking it to the next level.
We applaud the mutual respect that comes with the choice of “going dutch” on a first date. It’s just two people in it for fun with nothing to lose, and if they walk away unsatisfied at the end of the night then there are no hard feelings. On the other hand, if all goes well, maybe you’ll get a little more at the end of the night than just a peck…