OK, so this might be an out-of-this-world type of situation but just listen…

So you’re all alone in your apartment. Your girl just went out with her girlfriends, and your phone is off to the side on Do Not Disturb.

You open up your laptop up with one intention: You’re gonna’ choke the chicken. With all the doors locked and the TV off, you set your browser to Incognito Mode and Google whatever the hell it is you’re into.

What the ******************?!

On the home page of your favorite porn site, the top-viewed video has a very, very familiar face:

It’s your f***ing girlfriend!

There’s no way this could be true, right? It’s definitely a cruel, cruel joke she’s playing. You’re just in complete denial, because there’s no f***ing way that could actually be her.

You start getting a little paranoid, watch the video five, six or 47 times, comparing sexy pictures of her on your phone (that she was supposed to send to you and ONLY you) to the girl in the video – because, after all, it’s kind of a grainy video with the free porn website you went to.

Yep, it’s her. You’ve convinced yourself it’s her. But what’s the next step?

You CANNOT keep that kind of shit to yourself, it’s just too horrendous. But it’s straight up embarrassing to admit to anybody that your girlfriend is/was a porn star – even if it was just one amateur video one time. Yes, you’re SURE it must have just been that one time, one video…

Let’s face it…you’re going to have to nut up, not be a huge pussy, and talk to her about it. Don’t text or call her and ask – that’s too easy for her to come up with some sort of explanation. Invite her over for a romantic evening and then hit her with the video you’ve discovered. Just wait for her reaction (probably wide-eyed, red-faced and clammy.)

If she completely owns it and just says, “Yeah. That’s me…” the next step is finding out why in the f*** she did a porno. I mean, sure, it’s hot as hell maybe but you need answers God damnit!

And, did she really mean it when she said YOU were her big Italian Stallion!?

Oh. My. God. This whole relationship is built on a lie!

Final step: Obviously, this is the most important step in this entire scenario.

Do you allow yourself to really get into the porn she made after she leaves your apartment?

Put that one in your pipe and smoke it.

Knockout Mag

Knockout Mag