Ahh yes, the ole sly move of picking up a girl at a bar. It’s an American tradition that has aged well and will continue to be for years to come. But, it’s usually a completely futile task that ends in failure. Why?

Well, listen to some tips from bartenders from coast to coast:

Don’t Try too Hard and Don’t Be Eager

Confidence is obviously key when approaching any girl and engaging her in conversation, but don’t overdo it! Your goal for the night is to get laid, right? Well, just don’t make that seem obvious. Don’t stare the girl down like she’s a fat piece of steak you want to devour. Instead, have a good time and naturally, they’ll come to you.

“When guys focus on having a great time with the people they came with to the bar or restaurant, girls tend to gravitate toward that great time,” said Johnny Welsh, a Colorado bartender.

Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems (Hopefully)

If you’re poor you might as well go home and get your laptop ready. Always have cash on deck and don’t rely on a credit or debit card. As New York tender, Steve Yorsz says, “That way if she wants to leave with you, you won’t get held up waiting for the bartender to close your tab.” Smooth.

Get Creative

According to Yorsz, you want to ditch the cliché “Can I buy you a drink?” line. It’s old and might make her roll her eyes. Save that for T-Pain.

Be Respectful

Chances are, your manly sick sense of humor won’t sync up with hers – at least not right away. So don’t start dishing out risky jokes trying to get a cheap laugh.

It’s all About Who You Know

Women are more likely to be relaxed and open-minded if they see you have a nice relationship with the bartender, so make sure to get an in with the tender and he’ll help you out. “If the bartender thinks you’re a cool enough person, he’ll happily act as the wingman,” said Texas bartender Vitality R.

Isolation is NOT the Name of the Game

Approaching a girl and her friends might seem a little nerve-racking, but never, EVER isolate the girl from her friends. This will only make you look like a try-hard and make her uncomfortable. Engage her the most, of course, but make conversation and be fun with her friends as well. If she likes you enough, she’ll break off from her friends to talk to you alone.

Be Nice

Uhh…duh.

Be Funny

Girls like assholes. No, they don’t… “Whoever told you that chicks like it when you act like an asshole is an idiot,” said Yorsz.

Don’t Interrupt

Listen. Respond. Repeat. Don’t ever interrupt her in the middle of a story. It’s disrespectful and makes you look like a douche.

Phones Away

Can’t focus if you’re answering your phone every time it goes off. This one is almost too obvious to mention.

Bartenders have seen it all and then some. They know what they’re talking about, so heed the above advice and you’ll be well on your way to snaggin’ that sexy ass brunette across the bar.

Knockout Mag

Knockout Mag